lovely

Today was a good day. 

for very simple reasons.

Henry makes me smile, and have joy

he has pure joy

from goldfish crackers, Superwhy, being outside, his blanket, his dad, and much more

he is such an example to me of always having joy

my joyful moment today came during nap time

I turned off his lights, wrapped him in his blanket, fed him, and started singing to him like I always do

but this time I took time to notice him

he loves cuddling with me

he doesnt fight naps at all

he loves that time with me

I know he does because sometimes he will turn up at me and say,"bob bob bob bah bo bob" which is Henry language for I'm happy. 

I smile, and continue singing to him as he is staring right at me, and smiling. 

I love these moments as a mom

Now when he woke up from said nap and puked,

that I don't love so much. 

blah blah blah

This post is a whole bunch of random. 

I have been sick all week with a cold. When I get sick, I am out like trout. I fall hard. I feel like I am dying. 

Its quite pathetic actually. 

So far there are no signs that Henry has gotten it, which would be a total shocker and a welcomed surprise. 

Speaking of Henry, he has discovered that he looooves the show Superwhy!. We watch it about 4 times a day. A part of me feels like a lame mom for letting him watch so much tv, but there is nothing to do in the winter with a baby, and his toys are only fun for so long. I can't wait for summer, to go on walks, play at the park, get a swing set in the backyard. ah. I am beginning to realize how much of a summer girl I really am. 

My small and simple things goal is totally working, and I love it. I have had that mantra in mind all month and it is totally helping to keep my house under control, a little bit at a time. 

The pregnancy is going fine, still having trouble eating and drinking enough. I haven't gained any weight, which is good for me. We should find out the gender at the end of February. 

I can not get enough sleep these days, and I am sure Jason feels like a widower when he comes home. Shortly after Henry goes to bed, which is around 7, I go to bed, too. But I just can't help it! I am still so tired! Henry slept through the night for about two months, but now he is feeding again in the middle of the night. grrrr. Its the weekend so maybe with Jason's help we will work on dropping the feeding. 

I started reading the parenting book Love and Logic, and I looooove it. I love it most because it tells me how to instill my parenting skills with Henry NOW. They say babies are never too young to learn logic, even if they can't communicate. Its a very flexible adaptable style of parenting, while being structured at the same time. It seems like it is very time consuming to act out the plan, but in the long run should save time on tantrums and other issues. We shall see. 

Anyway, Superwhy is over, guess that's my que. 

Do you play wordfued? won't you play with me?

he thinks I am awesome

Henry has become a needy momma's boy. 

I posted a status a while ago asking my friends how to resolve this issue and I was surprised to learn that most of my friends dont care if their care are needy of their moms, which IS TOTALLY OK. I am not judging.

Just saying, I am soooo not that kind of personality. 

I can't have him be so needy of me all the time to the point that I get stressed thinking about leaving him with someone else. 

So, with no advice from anyone I decided to try my own ideas. 

my first try is the daycare at my gym. After a horrible experience at south davis rec and their daycare, I switched gyms to Skills Fitness and so far I kinda love it. Their daycare is much nicer, less kids there, and the employees are young female adults compared to moms. I know what you are thinking, wouldnt I want moms in there working instead? Thats what I thought, but the rec center had moms as the employees and I realized that moms are really good at ignoring kids, and not taking crying very seriously. Young single women still think kids are adorable and enjoy playing with them. 

So we have gone twice, the first time was fabulous and he loved it, the second time he was crying after 30 mins, BUT he hadnt had an afternoon nap, so I will chalk that up to tiredness and crankiness. 

But so far its good, the daycare has big windows that you can see in if you are in the gym, but the people inside the daycare cant see you. So I can check on Henry whenever I was without him seeing me, and I can see if I like the employees and how they do with Henry and the other kids. 

Its good, Henry seems to like watching the big kids play, and its getting him used to me not being around. 

Last night I also went to a body pump class at the gym, and left Henry with Jason and Jason put him to bed, which I think was also good for Henry not to rely on me  in order to go to sleep at night. 

so I am trying. 

I refuse to let the neediness continue, especially since baby #2 will be here before you know it and I can't devote every minute to Henry. 

Wish me luck!

blerg

I have no motivation to blog. 

sorry. 

blah. 

maybe its the lack of others blogging, or the lack of communication taking place these days via blogs, but blogging just doesnt seem like it used it. 

maybe we are all stuck on Pinterest. 

either way. 

I am good. 

Henrys good

Babys good

Jasons good.

the end. 

Official

My goal for this year is a mindset. 

By small and simple things. 

I get so frustrated and depressed if I cant completely deep clean my house as often as I used to. I used to spend around 2-3 hours just cleaning. clearly, I dont have that kind of time, and it upsets me. 

but I had a moment the other day where I really took to heart the phrase by small and simple things. 

Maybe I cant clean the entire kitchen in one shot, but I can at least do the dishes. or throw the garbage away. 

then the next time I have a moment I can do more small things, and hopefully accomplish something large. 

Its worked really well so far. 

and today when I was cleaning I was in the groove, so it made me extra motivated to make it possible for me to clean more, so I cleaned my room, Henry's room and the hallway, and trapped him in between so he could crawl back and forth, and he loved it. I was able to hang clothes up, clean off surfaces, etc. Way more than I would have been able to do. 

So yeah. 

Thats my goal. 

Gotta write goals down, ya know. 

Christmas short and sweet

Christmas

Every Christmas I realize and learn things that make Christmas day more stressful, and that I say I won't do next year. 

I am this close to cornering down the perfect Christmas routine. 

Yes, a Christmas routine.

However, this Christmas fell on Sunday, which ironically completely screwed up my routine. 

My family always does Christmas in the morning, and around 2ish we leave for Jason's family until the evening. 

But this year Everyone wanted to do Christmas at noon, so they could go to the 11 o clock church meeting. 

eff. 

so it got a little sticky, Henry didn't get his second nap making for a very cranky afternoon and a tired mom by the end of it. 

But, Christmas was perfect. 

I can't say it was fun having Henry, cause he didn't care, but I am sure next year will be more fun. 

There will be 2 kids! yikes. 

yummy

So my tablet of food I can tolerate has expanded slightly. 

 I can have and keep down:

Steak

Sushi

Ice Cream

Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup

Cheetos

Gumballs

Clementines 

Grapes

Orange Juice(Which I have ALWAYS hated)

Popcorn

Pizza

So that is what I eat on a rotating basis, and boy when those sushi and steak days come around I am in heaven. 

only 3. yep 3.

So today, while bathing, I came to a realization about my family. 

some background:

I wanted 3 or 5 kids, because 4 was too cliche. 

Jason wants 4. 

But today, I decided for sure, I only want 3. 

I had this notion is my head that in order to be a big close family, I had to have at least 4 kids, like my family growing up. 

But, I have learned a lot from observing other families, and that's this: The families that had more kids, generally were a little more out of control, and weren't as close as I though, and the mom was stressed to the max. 

The families with 3 or less, seemed like the mom had more time to devote to each child as an individual, and that because they were smaller families, they seemed to be a little closer. 

See, having 3 kids has always felt right to my soul, but to my mind I always said oh no that's not enough. 

As my usual disclosure goes, I know my thoughts, and feelings can always change. 

  But for now, thats my feeling. 

So, 1 child down, 1 in the oven, only 1 more left!

Henry David

I thought I would give you a little Henry update since I stopped doing the monthly ones. my bad.

Well he is a couple days shy of or was when I wrote this 8 months.

tall

skinny

big head.

HATES eating.

shockingly I dont have a super recent good picture of him. I know, I suck.

To our grateful surprise he has become a fantastic sleeper. 2 2-3 hour naps a day and he is sleeping through the night at 10-12 hours hours a night.

HEAVEN.
crawling like mad and trying so hard to balance and stand.
says B sounds, bah bah bah bah.
I have never seen a cuter boy. Really. I haven't.

Jason, I am pregnant...

This is how I told Jason. I wrapped up a frame with a poem, some candy, and delivered it to his work. He was surprised. :)

This is the poem:

Aint it cute? 

End of pregnancy posts. :D

I found this post that I meant to post at the end of my pregnancy with Henry, then went into labor. :)


Well friends, now that this pregnancy has come to an end, I shall wrap up the pregnancy posts with this last one.

I am writing this before Henry is born because they say after the baby comes, you forget all about what it was like to be pregnant.

For some stupid reason, I want to remember.

Finding out we were pregnant was the most exciting thing ever. When we REALLY found out, I had been sleeping all night, and had the thought come to my mind that I should take a test as soon as I get up. Luckily, I had one. I woke up, took it, waited 3 mins and it said pregnant! I rushed into the bedroom, jumped on the bed and showed the stick to Jason.

From then on I walked around, like I had a purpose. I no longer felt like a regular person going about my own life, I felt like a guardian to this little angel inside me, and that I was special.

The first trimester was terrible. I am sure you will remember the posts. I never threw up due to morning sickness, but I was constantly nauseous. Nothing sounded good, and even if it did, after a few bites it made me sick. If I waited too long to eat, it made me sick. The first trimester was also nerve wracking, because you are so paranoid of miscarriage. Boy am I glad thats over.

When we found out we were having a boy, it felt real. Before then it doesn't seem real that you are having a baby, I mean, how can it when there isn't a gender? We found out 2 years TO THE MINUTE after our wedding what we were having. We spend the rest of the time in San Fransisco enjoying each other. It was perfect.

The second trimester was heaven. My morning sickness disappeared, I had tons more energy, and I was ready to conquer my to-do list tasks. If only someone hadn't rear ended me giving me daily back pain. :( Although I still had energy, it just hurt to do certain thing, thus putting my workout routines, on hold. This was completely devastating to me as I had planned to work out up until the first last day. I think the car accident combined with having to stop exercising is really when my dislike for pregnancy began.

One of my favorite parts of the pregnancy was taking weekly pictures. I took one every single week from week 12. I wanted to remember ever size, every growth, and it was fun to see. I laugh now because I look back on the earlier pictures, even as late as 22 weeks and laugh hysterically at how fat I THOUGHT I was.

The third trimester was almost like the first, constantly tired, peeing all the time, no energy, and slight nausea, only slight. It was really fun though to feel the babys movements during this time, because it really felt like a person was in there, not like a fish was swimming around. I could touch his bum, find his feet, oh it was fun. The third trimester was the most painful, lots of back pain and towards the end immense pelvic pressure.

The last couple weeks are exactly how "they" say they are, you feel so huge, you are so uncomfortable and you just want the baby out. You are done being pregnant, you are getting swollen, and you are counting down the hours until its time.

tid bits:

The most times I have pee'd in a day is I think around 18, and that was today lol.

Having a baby strapped to your stomach feels like this: Stick a 2x4 from your pelvic bones to your rib cage, also one in back, wrap something going all the way around you holding them in place, and try to move. Thats what it feels like, like something hard is in the way.

my baby never kicked me in the ribs.

I was always able to see my feet, and tie my shoes.

my wedding ring didn't fit at about 6 months.

I was obsessed with reading about my weekly progress online.

Google was my best friend, and worst enemy.

I looooved my Dr.

I still, having gone through a pregnancy, can say I don't believe in typical pregnancy cravings. I think women lie. I am blowing the lid open ladies.

Next pregnancy I will plan to be pregnant in summer, even though its hot, at least its a happy time, you can be outside etc. being pregnant in winter is just grumpy and gloomy.

I always could get a deep breathe.

I loooove my maternity pictures.

decorating the nursery was definitely a highlight.

I actually never cared about hearing the heartbeat, after the first time. And even the first time I was like, ok thats cool, but I didn't have that oh my gosh moment women talk about when they hear it. For me it was seeing him on ultra sounds.

No one ever told me I looked like I was about ready to pop. It was quite the opposite.

I never had to get maternity "underwear", thank goodness.

My hands got swollen towards the end, but my feet never did.

I didn't notice that my hair grew faster, but I did get a bunch of little baby hairs growing all over the place.

Things I learned:

I learned a lot of patience. I knew I was going to need it from day one, and there was no way around it, so I learned to practice patience. Towards the end it got hard ;)

I learned about muscles I didn't even know I had! lol

I REALLY learned how to bite my tongue. Those that know me well, know I speak my mind when my mind speaks, but being pregnant everyone thinks you want their opinion, or that they somehow have a right to tell you what to do, and it took a lot for me to refrain from saying what I wanted to say.

I learned to

There is one thing in this pregnancy that has been absolutely perfect.

This guy:

I love this man. I love our relationship. I love how he looks at me, and how it makes me look at him. I love how well he takes care of me, and I know he would do anything if it meant my happiness. I love how important it is to him to support our family. I love how humble he is about what a successful person he is. I am so proud of every accomplishment he makes. I have said it before I will say it until I am blue in the face, you should not have kids until your marriage is 110% solid. If Jason and I weren't on the same page, and weren't so in sync and in love, I could not imagine how hard not only the pregnancy would have been, but parenthood. he cares so much about me, and is so in tuned to me that I really never had to tell him when something hurt, or something was wrong. And I NEVER had to tell him what I needed to make me feel better or be happier, Jason is fantastic at that, from buying me a new wedding ring that fit, to littler things like bringing me home my favorite candy. I am so blessed to have the best husband and I wake up every day and think what I can do to make his life better, because he makes mine better every day. He is my best friend, in every way possible, I can not wait for an eternity with this man. Jason is going to be a fantastic father, because he is ready. He is completely selfless with his time, and sometimes I have to convince him to do things like golfing, because he wants to be with me. If Jason ever reads this, he will probably be embarrassed because he doesn't like it when I toot his horn, but I can't help but be filled with so much gratitude for him, that I would be ungrateful if I didn't give him the credit he deserves. :) He is perfect for me.

baby, you're the right kind of wrong

Something has gone terribly wrong, while going terribly right. 

I can not eat anything.

well that's a lie. 

but I can not stomach most things. most dinners. most lunches, and most breakfasts. 

its awful, because I adore food. got me through some hard times. 

There are 3 things I can stomach, at any moment, of any day. 

Steak

Sushi

Sherbet ice cream.

(this isn't sherbet ice cream, but love potion is by far my favorite)
the 3 S's. 

Save my life. 

Its sucks that I can only have such a limited amount of steak and sushi, and really the ice cream, a week. 

Not to mention the fact that the h ubby hates when I go out for sushi.(I tend to splurge.)

and the steak must come from Costco, because they have the most glorious thick juicy pieces of steak ever. 

They too, are a little pricey though. 

So most days, I starve, and puke. 

But on the few days a week I get to indulge in the gloriousness that is those foods, I am in a food coma for the rest of the evening heaven. 

Tell me, I need to know.

Tell me, cause I really need to know.
Is going from 1 child to 2 really the hardest?
its what everyone says. "they" say its worse than just having the 1.
is it true?
are "they" right?
and for those who have done it, what do you wish you would have known before baby #2 came?
I need to mentally prepare myself.
Any help you have would be appreciated. :)

How will you parent?

Henry is to the point now, that we need to develop our parenting habits.
What kind of parents we will be.
what our discipline strategies will be.
One thing I know for sure, you won't know until you get there.
but for now, here is what I want.

I don't want to yell, or even be stern.
We only said the word NO, when its dangerous.
I do not want my kids to always be hearing the word no, and especially in a stern voice.
So when Henry needs to be told a non dangerous no, we phrase it differently. "Henry thats mommys toy." "Henry we have to be soft with the cats." "Hands are not for hitting, hitting hurts." I want to EXPLAIN life to my child, not just say no all the time.

I picked up a book long before Henry was born called "Calm down time" by Elizabeth Verdick.(Google it cause blogger isnt letting me post pics or hyperlinks). This book teaches children, in a child way, that their feelings are normal, but that they need to learn to calm themselves down. I think its incredibly harmful to just put a child in time out everytime they are naughty or angry, it tells them that those emotions are bad and they will be punished. It teaches that kids should have a calm down place, maybe a bean bag chair with a blanket, or just somewhere cozy, by themselves where you and the child can read the book and teach them about their feelings.

Now I know this method with probably be harder to do than just throwing the kid in time out, but I think in the long run it will be better for OUR family.

So there ya go. Thats all I have got so far and I am sure as I need to put it it in to practice that things will change and develop. I know that. But this is where I am starting.

I feel completely awful.

So nauseous every single night and the only thing I want, is pizza.
during the day, its sushi.

I am 9 weeks.

Savoring the moments of just Henry
savoring the sleeping through the night.
I cry sometimes thinking about the newborn sleep schedule, or lack there of.
I have no idea how I will do errands with two kids, and it stresses me out.
how will I put two kids to bed at the same time?
I know it can be done, its done all the time.
but I still worry about how I will manage.

I am excited to find out the gender.
to see the little one on ultra sounds.
I am SOOO excited for the labor and delivery experience again.
I am excited to see if it looks just like Henry, boy or girl.

So I feel awful, scared for a lot, and excited for a lot.